So I was sick all of last week... Had an amazing quad break and got to see most of my friends and all of my family, had loads of fun and plenty of sleep... Unfortunately, before leaving on Monday, I gave my little sister a hug goodbye. This wasn't a bad thing in and of itself, however, she happened to be sick. She didn't feel well and told me I didn't have to hug her because she didn't want to get me sick, but I hugged her anyways, and am glad for it. On the downside, it made the rest of my week crap. Sniffles, sinus pressure and headaches, physical exhaustion, and as a result of the sniffles, chapped lips and a dry nose... Luckily, I didn't have any exams this week, so I didn't have to worry about that. However, I did have a presentation in guess what? That's right, felafelsy class(Think about how you would say that and it will come to you). The other two guys in my group helped a lot, but in the end, it sucked having to argue a position that I didn't hold when I could barely speak clearly. It worked out though and I don't think we did too bad.
I had to work at Chester's too, a late shift on Thursday night. Oh my gosh, that sucked beyond imagining. I prayed before-hand that God would either give me an easy shift, or at least the strength to get through it. Well, through the first half, He gave me the latter. Then, around 1 am, my two bosses showed up and took over for me, allowing me to go back to my room and sleep. How many of you non-followers can say that your boss(es) is/are that awesome? I doubt many if any.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Thursday, October 14, 2010
On Death and Dying
What is it like to die?
I ask this because earlier today in my reative Class we saw a clip from Resevoir Dogs in which all but one of the characters died. And it got me to thinking what it would be like to die. Hollywood likes to portray it as an elongated experience in which one(typically a main character or a villain) is able to deliver one final, epic speech.Or its the opposite, life is snuffed out in the fraction of a second it takes to pull a trigger. Or even worse, the strangling. I've begun to wonder how it feels to die. In some cases, there seems to be no pain at all, and in others the pain is unbearable. What is it like, really? I cannot trust the media to portray an accurate description, so how would I know without experiencing it myself? This of course, is a possibility, but I think I would rather know and be able to relate the feeling without actually dying, which is not a likely possibility.
But really, what does it mean to die? What is it like, what does it entail? I think death is the result of bodily shutdown. Like a computer, there are 3 basic ways to die. 1. You go through the process of shutting down, you log off, shut down all systems, and turn off. 2. You are manually shutdown(via the button), forced to turn off because of some outside force(murder, fall off a cliff, drown in the ocean). 3. Run out of power/die of old age. Sometimes it's unexpected and sometimes you can see it coming so you try to take advantage of how much power you have left.
I've often thought about how I want to die, and I've noticed that it has changed over the years. When I was little I just didn't want to die at all, it wasn't going to happen. Then, as I became more realistic, I wanted to die in my sleep because that would be painless and I wouldn't really experience anything. Then I wanted it to be quick, like a bullet or something. And now, after thinking it through today, I would prefer to die slowly. Not slowly in that I'm being tortured or something, but slowly in that I have time to talk to someone, time to say what needs to be said(like in the movies). And I definitely don't want to be alone, I want to die in the presence of someone I know and love, whether that's a family member, a best friend, or that special someone. All I know is that if I am going to experience something as unique as death, I want to fully experience it, not go in my sleep or in some quick and easy way.
So back to the original question, what would it be like to die? I guess I've come to the conclusion that it's not possible to know without actually experiencing it. Conjecturing won't get you anywhere. And I've also come to the conclusion that death makes life all the more precious, so we should cherish it while we have it: Experience everything to the fullest. The challenge is actually living this way.
I ask this because earlier today in my reative Class we saw a clip from Resevoir Dogs in which all but one of the characters died. And it got me to thinking what it would be like to die. Hollywood likes to portray it as an elongated experience in which one(typically a main character or a villain) is able to deliver one final, epic speech.Or its the opposite, life is snuffed out in the fraction of a second it takes to pull a trigger. Or even worse, the strangling. I've begun to wonder how it feels to die. In some cases, there seems to be no pain at all, and in others the pain is unbearable. What is it like, really? I cannot trust the media to portray an accurate description, so how would I know without experiencing it myself? This of course, is a possibility, but I think I would rather know and be able to relate the feeling without actually dying, which is not a likely possibility.
But really, what does it mean to die? What is it like, what does it entail? I think death is the result of bodily shutdown. Like a computer, there are 3 basic ways to die. 1. You go through the process of shutting down, you log off, shut down all systems, and turn off. 2. You are manually shutdown(via the button), forced to turn off because of some outside force(murder, fall off a cliff, drown in the ocean). 3. Run out of power/die of old age. Sometimes it's unexpected and sometimes you can see it coming so you try to take advantage of how much power you have left.
I've often thought about how I want to die, and I've noticed that it has changed over the years. When I was little I just didn't want to die at all, it wasn't going to happen. Then, as I became more realistic, I wanted to die in my sleep because that would be painless and I wouldn't really experience anything. Then I wanted it to be quick, like a bullet or something. And now, after thinking it through today, I would prefer to die slowly. Not slowly in that I'm being tortured or something, but slowly in that I have time to talk to someone, time to say what needs to be said(like in the movies). And I definitely don't want to be alone, I want to die in the presence of someone I know and love, whether that's a family member, a best friend, or that special someone. All I know is that if I am going to experience something as unique as death, I want to fully experience it, not go in my sleep or in some quick and easy way.
So back to the original question, what would it be like to die? I guess I've come to the conclusion that it's not possible to know without actually experiencing it. Conjecturing won't get you anywhere. And I've also come to the conclusion that death makes life all the more precious, so we should cherish it while we have it: Experience everything to the fullest. The challenge is actually living this way.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
Weekends
Yesterday was a really weird, but I guess I can start at the beginning of the weekend. So Friday we had our Scientific Enterprise exam(which was much easier than the first one, or at least followed the study guide better); however, instead of taking the exam and leaving for the day(like most college exams), we had to stay for an hour afterward for class. Mad lame. Although I considered leaving anyway, I couldn't leave The Rebellious One there by herself(friendless). So I stayed and we did some experiment involving Global Warming, or the greenhouse effect. No grade involved, not worth staying. But oh well...
Later that day I sent out one of my famous mass texts inviting everyone to dinner, but when I got there, I didn't even sit with them. This was more because of Leroy Jenkins than anything else. He doesn't like sitting outside(which they were) because he can't eat his food properly out there. So we sat in Chester's as usual with his roommate C4. And, since my work schedule had changed, I didn't have to work that night. So we scouted out a place to watch a movie(which turned out to be Jenks), and then played some MW2 while we waited for people to finish with a dance thing. Watched Master and Commander after sneaking into the mostly locked Jenks building and made it to bed around 4 in the morning.
So of course, as this always goes, I did not awaken until afternoon(although before 2, which is a big deal for me). Saturday was a weird day, as I said before. I got up and immediately knew something didn't feel right. I went over to the Quad to check out the events going on, and also to see if Leroy Jenkins needed lunch still(he had asked me to get him some earlier, since he was helping out with the events). He didn't, but we got food anyway(hotdogs are amazing). Most of the rest of the day was spent avoiding social interaction. I don't know why, but every now and then I get into this really apathetic mood where I don't want to hang out or interact in any way. So I mostly played MW2 and played around Facebook, with constant disturbance from other Ferrinites. It's one of the lesser aspects of being the RA's roommate.
I had to work last night, but it was one of the fastest shifts i have ever had. Granted, it was only 3 hours, but it went by so fast. I was glad to have helping friends there to keep me company(despite my mood), I guess they managed to pull me out of it. At the end we talked about Right/Left-handedness and brain functions. We(I) decided that being right-handed is sinful, and that it was a direct result of the Fall. This meant that Left-handed people were more righteous than Right-handed people, and that we were just better. I was kidding of course, but some people didn't get it.
And though the weekend isn't quite over yet, especially for me since I don't have class on Mondays, that was my weekend. Now begins the studying for two exams on Tuesday, well, the attempt to study for two exams on Tuesday. I highly doubt that I will be able to focus very hard on this. By the way, happy 10/10/2010!! Fare thee well non-followers.
Later that day I sent out one of my famous mass texts inviting everyone to dinner, but when I got there, I didn't even sit with them. This was more because of Leroy Jenkins than anything else. He doesn't like sitting outside(which they were) because he can't eat his food properly out there. So we sat in Chester's as usual with his roommate C4. And, since my work schedule had changed, I didn't have to work that night. So we scouted out a place to watch a movie(which turned out to be Jenks), and then played some MW2 while we waited for people to finish with a dance thing. Watched Master and Commander after sneaking into the mostly locked Jenks building and made it to bed around 4 in the morning.
So of course, as this always goes, I did not awaken until afternoon(although before 2, which is a big deal for me). Saturday was a weird day, as I said before. I got up and immediately knew something didn't feel right. I went over to the Quad to check out the events going on, and also to see if Leroy Jenkins needed lunch still(he had asked me to get him some earlier, since he was helping out with the events). He didn't, but we got food anyway(hotdogs are amazing). Most of the rest of the day was spent avoiding social interaction. I don't know why, but every now and then I get into this really apathetic mood where I don't want to hang out or interact in any way. So I mostly played MW2 and played around Facebook, with constant disturbance from other Ferrinites. It's one of the lesser aspects of being the RA's roommate.
I had to work last night, but it was one of the fastest shifts i have ever had. Granted, it was only 3 hours, but it went by so fast. I was glad to have helping friends there to keep me company(despite my mood), I guess they managed to pull me out of it. At the end we talked about Right/Left-handedness and brain functions. We(I) decided that being right-handed is sinful, and that it was a direct result of the Fall. This meant that Left-handed people were more righteous than Right-handed people, and that we were just better. I was kidding of course, but some people didn't get it.
And though the weekend isn't quite over yet, especially for me since I don't have class on Mondays, that was my weekend. Now begins the studying for two exams on Tuesday, well, the attempt to study for two exams on Tuesday. I highly doubt that I will be able to focus very hard on this. By the way, happy 10/10/2010!! Fare thee well non-followers.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Me? Sleep? Noooooo....
Sleeping is a problem, and I indulge in it too much. I think I should add it to my interests, I sleep that often. The reason for sleep is to process thoughts, heal the body, and I guess you could say it helps pass the time. What if we could go our entire lives without sleeping? What would we be able to do? I ask this under the assumption that we would have no need to sleep, that our minds and bodies needed no period of rest to recover from our daily ventures.
For one I think we would be better suited to view all the beauty in the world around us. Half of the people in this world(actually probably a lot more than half) get up early and are allowed to witness the beauty of a morning, but they must also go to bed within a reaosnable time so as to get sufficient sleep. Whereas the other "half" stays up late into the night and is able to witness the beauty of the stars and the moonlit night as the city lights go out and clear up the sky. If we didn't have to sleep, we could witness all of this unhindered. Another benefit to no sleep is that we would never oversleep, never be late to class or work or church because our alarm didn't go off to wake us up.
On the downside, we would never have an excuse to be late. We would have to be awake, conscious, when we are injured. Think of all the medical procedures that require putting the patient to sleep, we would be conscious through all of that. And while the doctor could probably make it painless with various drugs, we could still see(and imagine) what is happening as it is happening. And on a similar note, we would be awake when we die, no going in our sleep.
We could keep working through the night, we wouldn't have to worry about getting to sleep before an exam, we could study right up to the time we have to take it. And on the downside to that, the Go-Po wouldn't have to sleep, so they would be ever vigilant in theit search for hooligans in the night(not that I am one of those hooligans ;)).
So I sleep too much, but I don't like to go to bed. I'm a night person, I like to stay up as late as possible, and sleep in as late as possible. I guess you could say I'm a late person, because I am late to virtually everything, its in my nature. And oddly enough, its a part of my nature that I like about myself. But back to sleep, it doesn't matter how much I sleep, I'm always tired when I wake up, anybody else feel like that? And this last paragraph has been more of a ramble, so since I have little else to say, I'll end here.
For one I think we would be better suited to view all the beauty in the world around us. Half of the people in this world(actually probably a lot more than half) get up early and are allowed to witness the beauty of a morning, but they must also go to bed within a reaosnable time so as to get sufficient sleep. Whereas the other "half" stays up late into the night and is able to witness the beauty of the stars and the moonlit night as the city lights go out and clear up the sky. If we didn't have to sleep, we could witness all of this unhindered. Another benefit to no sleep is that we would never oversleep, never be late to class or work or church because our alarm didn't go off to wake us up.
On the downside, we would never have an excuse to be late. We would have to be awake, conscious, when we are injured. Think of all the medical procedures that require putting the patient to sleep, we would be conscious through all of that. And while the doctor could probably make it painless with various drugs, we could still see(and imagine) what is happening as it is happening. And on a similar note, we would be awake when we die, no going in our sleep.
We could keep working through the night, we wouldn't have to worry about getting to sleep before an exam, we could study right up to the time we have to take it. And on the downside to that, the Go-Po wouldn't have to sleep, so they would be ever vigilant in theit search for hooligans in the night(not that I am one of those hooligans ;)).
So I sleep too much, but I don't like to go to bed. I'm a night person, I like to stay up as late as possible, and sleep in as late as possible. I guess you could say I'm a late person, because I am late to virtually everything, its in my nature. And oddly enough, its a part of my nature that I like about myself. But back to sleep, it doesn't matter how much I sleep, I'm always tired when I wake up, anybody else feel like that? And this last paragraph has been more of a ramble, so since I have little else to say, I'll end here.
Wednesday, October 6, 2010
Thoughts for the Future
Well, here we go, I'm not in that philosophy class today. Not really sure what I want to talk about, but I've got this nasty headache that I seem to always get in Scientific Enterprise class. I think it's the professor's voice, it agitates my molecules...
But anyway, don't really want to talk about the class, since that's essentially what I have done in my other posts. The good thing about The Examined Life is that it makes me think. Typically I'll go through my day without really thinking about much, nothing deep anyway. I guess you could say I lead somewhat of a shallow life. But I've never felt like I have. Back in high school I would think about all sorts of deep topics, mainly within Theology and biblical controversies. I think that may have had to do with my more constant contact with the Bible and Bible lessons(Bible class in school, youth group, and sermons/sunday school lessons in church). Here at Gordon, I don't get that kind of everyday exposure forced on me, and I guess that has effected how much I think about it. If I'm not forced to, I won't usually delve into the Bible anymore, and that has become a problem. My spiritual life is waning, and that's especially bad if I want to pursue a life in ministry. Ever since my junior year of high school, I have felt God pushing me towards youth ministry, so that is what I have majored in. Throughout high school I tried to be as involved as I could be with my youth group and church, exposing myself to different areas of ministry(V.B.S. as a leader and a helper, junior high camp counselor, etc.) and from that I felt more inclined towards youth ministry. I believe God calls us to serve Him in ways that we will enjoy, and I have found that I enjoy youth ministry, and so I continue to pursue a career in that field. However, if I cannot bring myself to continue in my spiritual walk with the Lord, how can I be a light to young people, shining for Him? Something needs to change, and that much I know, but it is making that change that I find to be the most difficult. I don't like change, I don't think I ever have, and so forcing it upon myself is not something I am naturally inclined to do. I guess all I can do is pray for the strength to do so, and I ask that those who read this(even though I would rather you didn't) would pray for me too.
That's all for now, I might post more later today if I have more to say. Otherwise, fare thee well.
But anyway, don't really want to talk about the class, since that's essentially what I have done in my other posts. The good thing about The Examined Life is that it makes me think. Typically I'll go through my day without really thinking about much, nothing deep anyway. I guess you could say I lead somewhat of a shallow life. But I've never felt like I have. Back in high school I would think about all sorts of deep topics, mainly within Theology and biblical controversies. I think that may have had to do with my more constant contact with the Bible and Bible lessons(Bible class in school, youth group, and sermons/sunday school lessons in church). Here at Gordon, I don't get that kind of everyday exposure forced on me, and I guess that has effected how much I think about it. If I'm not forced to, I won't usually delve into the Bible anymore, and that has become a problem. My spiritual life is waning, and that's especially bad if I want to pursue a life in ministry. Ever since my junior year of high school, I have felt God pushing me towards youth ministry, so that is what I have majored in. Throughout high school I tried to be as involved as I could be with my youth group and church, exposing myself to different areas of ministry(V.B.S. as a leader and a helper, junior high camp counselor, etc.) and from that I felt more inclined towards youth ministry. I believe God calls us to serve Him in ways that we will enjoy, and I have found that I enjoy youth ministry, and so I continue to pursue a career in that field. However, if I cannot bring myself to continue in my spiritual walk with the Lord, how can I be a light to young people, shining for Him? Something needs to change, and that much I know, but it is making that change that I find to be the most difficult. I don't like change, I don't think I ever have, and so forcing it upon myself is not something I am naturally inclined to do. I guess all I can do is pray for the strength to do so, and I ask that those who read this(even though I would rather you didn't) would pray for me too.
That's all for now, I might post more later today if I have more to say. Otherwise, fare thee well.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Butterflies
First off, I need to try writing one of these outside of philosophy class.
Anyway, butterflies, and animals in general, have such boring and fleeting lives. They exist to eat, mate, and die. Why do we exist? What purpose do we serve except to eat(survive), mate(continue our bloodline), and die(let the next generation take over)? I mean, yes, we do a little more than animals. The main part of that being that we can think; we can rationalize(or try to rationalize) our own existence. But is there something more, something of substance that we contribute to the world?
I don't think so. Not to this world. All we have done thus far is pollute and mess up the Earth. Even now we're trying to stem to destructive tide of human behavior; the results of this tide being: Global Warming(more or less), loss of species(both plant and animal), loss of resource/energy, and due to nuclear weaponry, loss of land. In a physical sense, our existence is detrimental to the existence of other things, and nothing we can do can fully change that.
However, on a spiritual level, for those who believe in the spiritual realm of existence, perhaps there is more for us there. If you believe that you were created by a supreme being, God, and that He gifted you with the breath of life, then you must believe that you have a spiritual existence. The rational part of our mind is the manifestation of the breath of life(so I believe), and this rationality stems from the spirit(or soul). So under the belief that we have a soul/spirit, then we must have some purpose to fulfill spiritually. According to the Bible, this purpose would be to follow after and worship God, our Creator, and give Him glory. So in that sense, we have a purpose. And if we believe that we have this purpose, then we can add a purpose to our physical lives, and that would manifest itself in the form of evangelism. Because if we believe that it is our purpose to glorify God, then naturally it would be our desire to enlighten others to this purpose, so that they too can glorify God.
For someone who does not believe in God, or does not believe they have a spirit/soul, I don't see how they could substantiate their existence. And if you can't substantiate your own existence, why should you continue to exist? If there is no purpose for you in life, why live? This is why I find it hard to believe people who say that there is no purpose in life. If they truly believed that, I mean really believed it, I think they would kill themselves.
So the question I would like to leave you with is this: Do you believe you are a butterfly?
Anyway, butterflies, and animals in general, have such boring and fleeting lives. They exist to eat, mate, and die. Why do we exist? What purpose do we serve except to eat(survive), mate(continue our bloodline), and die(let the next generation take over)? I mean, yes, we do a little more than animals. The main part of that being that we can think; we can rationalize(or try to rationalize) our own existence. But is there something more, something of substance that we contribute to the world?
I don't think so. Not to this world. All we have done thus far is pollute and mess up the Earth. Even now we're trying to stem to destructive tide of human behavior; the results of this tide being: Global Warming(more or less), loss of species(both plant and animal), loss of resource/energy, and due to nuclear weaponry, loss of land. In a physical sense, our existence is detrimental to the existence of other things, and nothing we can do can fully change that.
However, on a spiritual level, for those who believe in the spiritual realm of existence, perhaps there is more for us there. If you believe that you were created by a supreme being, God, and that He gifted you with the breath of life, then you must believe that you have a spiritual existence. The rational part of our mind is the manifestation of the breath of life(so I believe), and this rationality stems from the spirit(or soul). So under the belief that we have a soul/spirit, then we must have some purpose to fulfill spiritually. According to the Bible, this purpose would be to follow after and worship God, our Creator, and give Him glory. So in that sense, we have a purpose. And if we believe that we have this purpose, then we can add a purpose to our physical lives, and that would manifest itself in the form of evangelism. Because if we believe that it is our purpose to glorify God, then naturally it would be our desire to enlighten others to this purpose, so that they too can glorify God.
For someone who does not believe in God, or does not believe they have a spirit/soul, I don't see how they could substantiate their existence. And if you can't substantiate your own existence, why should you continue to exist? If there is no purpose for you in life, why live? This is why I find it hard to believe people who say that there is no purpose in life. If they truly believed that, I mean really believed it, I think they would kill themselves.
So the question I would like to leave you with is this: Do you believe you are a butterfly?
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