Gender Roles

There are many ways to take this conversation and topic, mainly because there are so many differing views concerning the role of a man and the role of a woman. I believe that each gender has a role, and that those roles are not interchangeable. The phrase "don't send a woman to do a man's job" is totally applicable. But you have to remember the reverse - "don't send a man to do a woman's job." This leads me to a rather large problem: What is a man's role, and what is a woman's role?

Well, looking to the Bible, I see a pretty good description in Genesis 1 and 2. We share a common purpose and thus are equal in our role as stewards of the earth. God's blessing and directive was given to both Adam and Eve: To be fruitful and multiply, filling the earth and subduing it(1:28). However, we see more detail in their creation in chapter 2. Woman was made from the rib of the man, to be a suitable helper for him. And as I have learned from my Gospel of Matthew class, the naming of someone else exerts dominance over them, and Adam named Eve, "because she would become the mother of all the living." Earlier in that chapter God says to Eve: "Your desire will be for your husband, and he will rule over you."

But in the NT there is defintely a brighter depiction of the relationship between men and women. It isn't right for men to simply be dominant over women, that is not our role. I do believe that men have a more authoritative role in the world than women do, and I think this can be seen in the mere fact that Jesus came to us as a man. (It can also be said that he did so because we are such a male-dominated race.)

I once had a great conversation with my pastor about this topic, though it was more directly related to the relationship between a man and his wife. He explained that the man is the head of the household, and thus makes the decisions. However, this does not make him the authority of the household, since he should be making decisions based on what would be best for his wife. Basically, the man should be thinking about what is best for his wife, not what is best for himself. The woman should be in submission to the decisions of her husband, understanding that he is making those decisions in her best interests. As Christians, both partners should be supporting one another and growing closer to God in their relationship with each other(this can also be applied to unmarried relationships, like dating).

In addition to this, I think there are certain strengths and weaknesses to each gender which are complemented by the other. I cannot at this time pinpoint any of these(or maybe I just don't want to for fear of contestation <- great word, thanks A Knight's Tale), but if you look around you can definitely see it. I think probably one of the more prominent differences are a man's ability to see the simple side of things, and a woman's ability to see the more complex side.

I'd like to note that of course this is all generalization, and that there are some pretty complex men and some very simple women. In which case, I don't know what I am saying, maybe my mind is just too scattered on this one, interpretation = fail.

Relationships

We had a Convocation today about relationships. Not just boyfriend/girlfriend relationships, but friendships, roommateships, family ties, and how it can fall apart when you go to college. One thing that focused on is the disconnect that occurs when you leave your high school friends behind at home and leave for college. They understood you better than anyone at college does(at least at first), and you have that feeling of aloneness when there is no one you can talk to about the deep stuff going on in your life.

I have to say, I definitely felt this when I first came to college. My best friend ever, Samwise, was the one guy  could talk to about literally anything. We met in the 3rd grade and ever since we have just clicked. As the expression goes, we were "two peas in a pod". We never fought, we never had "falling outs," we just clicked. Then halfway through middle school he switched schools and it became much more difficult to retain our friendship, but we made it work. When you have a friend like that, you don't just let them go. But now that we're in college, we both just can never find the time to chat or hang out. And while I've made friends here that I can talk to about the deep stuff going on, I still can't talk to them about everything, that base child-like connection just isn't there. What I am trying to say is that I miss him.

It's critically important to retain friendships that you've had before college. Even if it may upset our new friends a little, you can't just forget your past, nor should you. Samwise is someone who was around as I grew up into the person I am now. We may not be able to talk much anymore, but when we do, that connection is still there. I feel like we can still talk to each other about anything, and if those of you reading this have a friend like that, DO NOT LET THEM GO. They are the kind of friend that is unreplaceable(if that's even a word).

The convocation also talked about roommate relationships, and how sometimes good friends don't make good roommates. I've learned this the hard way, unfortunately. Leroy Jenkins is a treasured friend, but now that he is also my roommate, I don't get a break from him. As I mentioned quite extensively in one of my previous posts, I need alone-time, and he doesn't like to give me that. He's probably not intentionally doing it, but he is just always around, which forces me to try and "escape" from him, which is a terrible thing to try to do. It's not fair to him. At the same time, good roommates don't always make good friends either. Like my roommate last year. We did pretty well as roommates, but we didn't click as friends. We could respect each other (which is very important for roommates), but we didn't have enough in common to be good friends.

And finally, the convocation talked about boy/girl relationships. At college you meet a lot of people from the opposite sex (especially here, with a 3-1 girl-boy ratio). These people come from all over the country, and come with a lot of different views concerning the opposite gender. Some girls are used to hanging out with a lot of guys, and guys can easily take that interest the wrong way (as I have seen time and again). It just gets messy, as one of the guys said.
In high school, I would always hear girls say things like "Guys just don't get hints." Well, when you've got different messages coming from all over the spectrum, like girls who just want to be friends to girls who are interested, it becomes necessary to ignore hints, because honestly you just can't tell. One very good piece of advice they gave was to avoid a relationship freshmen year. Heck yes. Because if that relationship doesn;t work out, you've both made the same friends (typically), and a break-up means a loss of more than just a boyfriend/girlfriend. I don't really have anything more to say about this(due to a lack of personal experience in my college years, and due to an unwillingness to share anything deeper than that at this time), so I guess that's all for now.

As for family relationships, keep in touch with your family. Your parents have known you literally your entire life, longer than you even remember. They love you and care about you, and just because you are more independent now doesn't mean you shouldn't check in with them and let them you're all right. And your siblings still love you and care about you, and it would not be fair to them to leave them "out in the cold" and do your own thing. Especially if you're the oldest in the family. Your younger siblings rely on you, and you should be there for support.

The Essence of Stress

I've come to realize that stress is only what you allow it to be. I think it comes from a need to be in constant control, and when that control begins to slip out of our fingers we freak out and scramble to keep it in place. In the end, we are left with no control and a huge mess. I don't see myself as a very stressful person, and so from this definition, I can't tell if that means that I just have such a solid grip on my control that its rare for that control to slip away, or if I'm just a very malleable person in that I can "go with the flow" so to speak. I tend to think I am more of the latter, because a lot of times my lack of stress comes from a lack of general care about what would typically stress people out.

I had a paper due in the morning, 6 pages, based off of a comparison of two theologians. All the people around me are stressing out and frantically trying to finish it before class in the morning. I've had at least a good week to prepare and get it done. But no, I didn't really give it much thought because I figured "hey, its nothing, you can get it done in one night." And you know what? I did. No stress, no real hassle, just did it.

It's kind of been the story of my life. Very rarely will I get stressed out about stuff. It's definitely not always a good thing, because there have been times when I didn't get my work done, and paid the penalty for it. But I look around sometimes and I see people freaking out and I wonder why. If we go through life worrying about everything, how are we supposed to enjoy the life we have been blessed with? If we surround ourselves with drama all the time, when will we be able to break ot of it enough to take in the world around us? To enjoy the beauty of God's creation, and the company of others. I'm not trying to advocate a life dedicated to pleasure or anything like that, but I just don't see why we should have to stress out over matters that are trivial in the grand scheme of things.

As Christians we are called to give our lives over to God. This includes our grip on control. I think the reason why I have been so stress-free these past couple of years is because I have trusted that God has a plan for me and will help me in my endeavors to fulfill that plan. Well, that and a general lack of concern for HW, never did like doing it. =D

But I don't know, I think stress is just a result of our holding onto control which we just don't have. It's an illusion of control, in reality I don't think we have as much control as we think we do, or think we should.